Addiction, part deux

What am I addicted to now, you ask? Well, it’s a new one. Not coffee or training. Validation, maybe? Greener grass?

Last week was a busy one. I had a case of déjà vu, another of a weird case of nostalgia where it almost hit me like a wall that I walked into. Something about the smell, maybe, putting me back into the shoes of myself as a child in Vermont, when my father helped me and my brother create terrariums.
Why that particular memory? No idea. None.
That same day the fog was so thick and heavy that you could not see Table Mountain. It was there, but if you didn’t know you wouldn’t know.
To be blindsided is not fun. It’s in my nature always to blame myself for not doing things I should do, or missing things I should have seen coming. It’s very rewarding in a way, this whole doing CrossFit while recovering from injury, because I have now taken 100% full responsibility for my own recovery. I told Chris a while back that I was over being stupid. So that means full responsibility for making good decisions (like not competing in the SA champs for power lifting when I’m still healing my back and shoulder), and bad ones (like not sleeping enough).
Here’s to not being stupid, and to sorting out problems you’ve been ignoring. I am as pain-free as I can remember being since I started CrossFit … and I’m learning all sorts of stuff from the video analysis of myself. The programme is working.
I was debating with one of my co-workers this week about people and employees. He was wondering how many people just come into a job, don’t want to re-think things if they are not done well, because it’s too much of a hassle to figure out how to fix it. My sense is that most startup employees are not like this. You almost cannot afford to be.
Lots going on in this week as I split my time between revising the budget, an all-day offsite with my rock star technical manager to plan for the future, moving some tactical balls along, getting more hands-on with my own sales pipeline and helping the team with prospecting, and a most interesting series of discussions starting.
Even the weather was strange – there were some days that were properly warm, and then the weather turned and it got cold and rainy, then back to sunny and cold. What a winter! And speaking of change and variability, how I am enjoying the training in the mornings!
The weekend was similarly interesting between a Saturday birthday epic wine tour with my friend Riaan, and a Sunday spent hiking Table Mountain and talking about the future of the internet and dumb pipes, before going to stare more at spreadsheets. Figuring things out always makes me happy.
One of the discussions I was having on Saturday (aside from the weirdness of all the Bastille Day decorations in South Africa) was about how the journey must be as much a consideration as the destination. If training isn’t FUN, if work isn’t FUN, then what’s the point?
But also – once you start down a rabbit hole and start noticing things, it can be very difficult to turn around, or stop noticing things that you once walked right on past.
In this next week is where the rubber meets the road, for real. It’s one thing to talk about things that could be done, it’s another to go to that next step of agreement in principle. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
  • “Whatever the bottle the most important is the wine inside.” – Cedric
  • “How better to be known than having your network everywhere?” – Rudolph
  • “Believe me I know how they think.” – Cedric
  • “Yes. I do. You have NO idea.” – Ellie
  • “I’m disgusted, actually.” – Carla
  • “They’re weird and insecure.” – Ellie  
  • “And you do that by yourself?” – Simon
  • “Well that was a mistake. Unfortunately.” – Jeff
  • “I try to laugh a lot but sometimes it’s sad.” – Jeff
  • “According to my calculations …. No. My calculations are wrong. Damn it.” – Ellie
  • “I don’t want to design a system that fails. I mean … what’s the point?” – Jeff
  • “I don’t have a monopoly on being right.” “I think you do this time.” – Ellie & Jeff
  • “What, you mean like a drug addict?” – Jeff
  • “Well you can get away with it because you’re actually blonde.” – Lindy 


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