The only thing worse than losing

Is what happens to me when I don’t train. Same thing that happens to me when I don’t eat, actually. I get GRUMPY.
I wasn’t trying to sulk, but I guess I was actually sulking because injured or not, I usually do stick my face into the gym at least once in the week. But no, didn’t feel like it this week. Instead, got back to what one normally does when not training every single day:
  • Farewell dinner at Carne for Lauren & Dani
  • Scotch at the Hussar Grill, combined with a very American sound track
  • A return to qigong
  • Shopping! Yes, I bought out most of Pick’n’Pay’s collection of coconut milk in small tins, again.
  • Going away for the weekend
  • Going over to my friend’s house in pajamas

I was in a pretty bad mood because normally if you lose, you let the body recover from the competition then you get back into it. My body felt fine after this competition because I didn’t actually DO all that much … except I did have that fluish/fever thing until Wednesday. Except my back was in no shape for training. An injury like this one unfortunately is going to take weeks to heal completely, but I am not going to rest for weeks, so I’ll just be careful. Famous last words.

As a result, I think the only day at work I was actually in a good mood was Wednesday. Luckily that was the day with all the external meetings. I suppose I can be charming when it matters, but geez, serious sense of humour failure the rest of the week. By Friday afternoon I was desperate to get the hell out of dodge, and that’s not a good feeling when in general you are happy with your life. It’s like things are good, great even …. But if something starts to bother, you start to question everything.
Stopped by Ballistix Fitness on my way out of town for the weekend, and even being in the gym cheered me up. Hes came by to gossip, Norman stopped in returned my New Skin which made me a very happy woman, and Neil even dropped by to say hello.
My plans for the weekend involved tree planting at Platbos (means ‘flat forest’) with Greenpop. That was fun; kind of like sliding on an old glove. Jeremy was in fine form (as always, I suppose, but somehow so much more so at the same time). They have this one song called ‘My Shoes’ that’s all about a girl who’s just too cool, and will she go for it if he makes a move, and the insecurities that go along with that. That one always makes me smile, especially on this day under the stars in the middle of old growth forest. 
Just what I needed; a complete changeup, and an environment where no one knew or care what a snatch or muscle up is. And a flashback to an earlier time, kind of like I had a weird flashback at Caprice when a song came on that I’d heard Bon Jovi playing at the John Kerry election night would-have-been-victory-rally-had-it-not-been-a-wake. One of those vivid moments that stick in your memory and you just know you’re going to remember that moment your entire life. 
I can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes I guess. Sometimes you have to slap me in the damn face to get me to pay attention. How you gonna be in my shoes you’re SO COOL…..
Being able to dig holes and plant trees without causing my back to hurt made me very excited. This was a reforestation process, as Platbos is literally the last stand standing of indigenous forest. Between agriculture in the last century and the alien vegetation from Australia that has taken over, the native forest is getting crowded out or burned down (the alien vegetation, when it burns, burns HOT unlike the normal fynbos fires). We were mimicking what the forest does by digging big holes and filling them with mulch, then planting trees around the outside. This way the centres become water sinks that the trees can draw on during the dry summer months. The recent droughts are really taking their toll on the old growth forest, and it’s even harder for new baby trees.
I think I might be allergic to wine, or to the sulphites. Now if only I were legitimately allergic to sugar, that would keep me from eating anything bad for me. Accidentally (accidentally on purpose?) ingested some wheat this weekend and my goodness it’s not fun. The smallest quantity makes me extremely bloated, which is slightly bothersome when you see photos and videos of yourself. Larger quantities make me nearly die when training. Not a good tradeoff.
Plus, I am feeling very out of shape (or de-conditioned, as it’s apparently called). Basically I had two weeks of injury plus another week and a half before that where we were mostly doing technique and strength work leading up to Regionals … not a great combo. On the way back from Platbos I decided to kick my own ass and so I did the mother of all metcons, Helen (3 rounds of 400m run, 21 kettlebell swings, 12 pullups). This was comical, except that it wasn’t. I don’t think I’ve sucked wind so hard in over a year, and my time was a good 2 minutes off my PR. BUT I could do the pullups without pain … just …. Really, really SLOWLY. Silver lining? Cloud? What?
So the long road continues. I may be in a bit of a dip at the moment but hey … I suppose it is true that you do need those lows to appreciate the highs. Or maybe that’s just what everyone tells the people who are in the dumps. It’s like Nate Maingard was saying – you get hurt, and it hurts, but you feel alive. It’s all part of the beautiful experience of life.
It’s true. I guess it’s better this way. Time to make a few changes. Stop hanging on to things, stop playing to that martyr bit of my personality, and worrying about things I can’t control. Stop talking about doing things, and start actually doing them. 
And this morning? Sunshower and rainbow over Lion’s Head. Life ain’t so bad. 
It’s been a long long time /
Since I’ve seen your face /
But I never did you wrong / 
I just long for your embrace /
And wherever you go /
And wherever you roam /
Just keep your head up high /
And keep howling at the moon ………
  • “I knew I had a reason to be worried.” – Jeff
  • “You have a lot to make up for. You know that, right?” – Jaco
  • “So you’re a bit competitive by nature, hey?” – Jeremy
  • “Timing is everything.” – Jax
  • “Wait. You’re calling Jeremy a princess?” – Ellie 
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